Fragmented.

[Its already late and dark , He gets in the driver seat ,  turns the engine  on , he starts driving fast and unsteady , taking sudden turns and random roads , he pushes on the accelerator even more to feel the rush and get away ]

Diary

1st Entry

  I am a night creature  , that's my nature , at least that's how they like to call me .

There is a noose around my neck , it gets tight at times , but I learnt how to deal with it through time.

times are getting grim and my destiny is  written by the others , I m trying to stand still and i'm afraid that my feet will betray me very  soon , i am writing this on my  desk  near a windowpane and the dawn is around the corner , i like peering out of the window , i m not afraid of the shadows but  you know how i  feel about dawn and light  , i like watching the drunkards and the lost souls wandering in the streets at night. There is something about it , that ensnares me , but i deeply despise light and the mundane life of others , i like to be kept in the dark with my thoughts and demons , peering out the window is a hobby i leaned to with time too , interesting things happen during the night , things that don't come across your mind , wear your cloak  hide your head with the hood and you'll own the night and rule its demons , The purge happens every night , i witness it all and i enjoy it more than anything else , its just that you miss it  by sleeping the night off . reconsider your choices , reconsider your habits , question the rituals and routines of your life , those who rule don't close an eye .

2nd Entry :

 I had to go out today  and pretend to mingle with the others , pretend to understand them and comply, but how long can this last ? for how long shall we pull this act , i m obviously not the only one pretending to be someone else but why should we put on a mask during the day and play a lame role, when will this game come to an end?  Here i am again writing in my Diary , The only space where i can be honest . seriously , Can this get any worse ? but who am i really ? what am i here for ? A lot of other questions swarm around my head . here comes my night companions in their red and black cloaks , i better blow my candle ,

Oh no ... the noose its being tightened , do they know what i' m thinking of ? what ? am i ....[suffocating]  in too deep ? but , but ...

3rd Entery

How did i get here ? is the first question i should ask myself . The last thing i remember is last night , when i was writing down my last entry on my desk near my windowpane . Now  i m  laying in this foliage i reached for my pocket and i fortunately found my pen and diary , writing down these lines , i feel confused and lost  . I  unbuttoned my collar and  felt my neck , to my joy the noose disappeared .I  took off my tie and unbuttoned the rest of my vest  feeling the sweet breeze of the forest that i found myself in , Feeling lost  is after all  not that bad . Its the first time i feel fine in the presence of the light , the sunshine feels otherworldly , i never enjoyed it this much ,  I m  walking around delighted by  the new atmosphere , the day is winding down and coming to an end , i can see a car from where i am standing now ! who brought me here ? did i end up here alone ? I m trying to  remember what happened last night

4th Entry :

I m writing this from the car i found yesterday , everything doesn't make sense , it doesn't feel the same , i am not the same ! it doesn't feel right , the moment of  joyful awaking  in the foliage deserted me , since i remembered that dreadful night ,  I  remember vividly the sound of  their boots hitting the ground and their laughter piercing the walls , a big latch is being opened, but what happened ? where am i ? I have been driving for hours but everything looks the same. 

[To be Continued , or not.]